Updated: Jun 21, 2022
One of the most amazing gifts the Lord has given humanity is sex. However, the Lord also gave us a context in which to enjoy this beautiful gift - marriage. The reality, however, is that many people, including many professing Christians, are having sex outside the framework of marriage and, as a result, are experiencing harmful and painful consequences ....... and one of those damaging consequences is a SOUL-TIE.
In today’s blog-post we are going to take a look at the following 4 points in order to understand the whole phenomenon of a soul-tie:
What is a Soul-Tie?
The Role Oxytocin plays during sex
How To Know if you have a Soul-Tie
5 Steps To Break your Soul-Tie.
WHAT IS A SOUL-TIE?
The term soul-tie refers to the joining or knitting of two souls together. The idea is grounded in the thought that sex involves more than just joining two physical bodies - it includes body, soul, and spirit. Therefore, someone who is in a soul tie feels spiritually attached or connected to another person with whom they have been sexually engaged.
THE TRUTH BEHIND A SOUL-TIE
God, the ONE who has created the whole idea of sex, has many purposes for sex, one of which, is BONDING - between a husband and his wife. During sexual activity, although two people are physically bonded, there are strong physiological responses that occur within each person‘s body, which also cause great emotional bonding. This is the bonding of the souls.
What Causes Bonding During Sex?
One of the hormones produced during sex is OXYTOCIN. In females, oxytocin has always been known to play a powerful role during the childbearing process by promoting a positive feedback mechanism which allows increasing contractions of the uterus to occur in order to help the mother push the baby out of the womb.
In fairly recent times, however, oxytocin has been found to be instrumental during sexual activity. It is responsible for causing the woman to desire the man with whom she is sexually active. In other words, while the physical joining of two bodies occurs during sex, oxytocin is actively helping to form a bond that is much deeper than just physical contact. It literally makes both persons long for each other.
This greatly helps in explaining why a break-up between sexually active individuals can be so PAINFUL.
It is not uncommon for individuals who have broken up with their sexual partners to find it hard to move on and build an intimate relationship with someone else. It is in light of this difficulty in moving on that some people feel as if they are tied in a powerful way to one of their sexual partners. THIS powerful ‘tie’ is what is commonly referred to as a soul tie.
How Do I know if I have a Soul Tie?
Although it might be hard to pin it down to whether or not you are in a soul tie, the list below gives some of the most consistent experiences of individuals who are in a soul-tie.
A deep longing for the individual
A feeling of being overpowered or emotionally controlled by thoughts of the person
An obsession with the person
An inability to move on to another relationship
Prolonged feelings of brokenness
A constant desire for sexual relations with the person, although you have broken up.
Unrealistic expectations from the person you have broken up with
A deep hatred of the thought of the person moving on with someone else, even though you are no longer in a relationship with the person.
How to Break a Soul tie!!!
Breaking a soul tie is SEVERING a bond formed through sexual relations that has gained power over you. It can be broken in 5 steps:
1) You must Recognize that ONLY Jesus Sets people Free.
If there is one thing we can all be sure about is that Jesus is the only person who can set us free from ALL forms of bondage.
John 8:36 declares:
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
However, the only way to receive this awesome freedom is by knowing the truth. Look at what John 8:32 declares:
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
But what does it mean to know the truth?
Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
So many people want the benefits from the Lord without a commitment to the Lord. But it doesn’t work like that. Freedom first begins with yielding your life to the Lord. When you yield your life to Him, He does an amazing work in your life.
Have you committed your life to Jesus? Have you seriously turned from your sins and invited Jesus into your life as your Lord and Saviour? If you would like to do that right now, I would love to help you. Let’s pray right now:
Heavenly Father, I come to you right now as a sinner in need of your forgiveness. I thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die on a cross for my sins so that I would not have to be eternally damned. I repent of all my sins and I place my trust in Jesus. Forgive me of all my sins. Wash me from all unrighteousness, fill me with your Holy Spirit and use me for your glory. Write my name in the Lamb’s book of life. All these things I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This is arguably one of the most misunderstood words in the church today. To Repent means much more than confessing one's sins. Very often, we do not connect what we are going through to the fact that we have sinned against God. When we realize that we have sinned against the Lord, we see our actions very differently than when we think we have just sinned. Saul, the first king of Israel admitted his sin when he failed to obey the Lord in destroying all the Amalekites for their wickedness. However, he did not repent! He did not see his offense as one committed in direct defiance to God's clear Word. And because of that he never stopped moving in the wrong direction.
To repent is to turn away from one's sins. We have to come to grips with the fact that what has been done was offensive to the Lord and turn away from it.
If we want to break a soul tie but we still want to indulge in sexual sin, then it will never be broken. We can’t have deliverance from sin and persist in sin at the same time. So repentance is key. Turn from sexual sin.
If you are continually finding that you are struggling in sexual sin and you need Biblical help to get out of its entanglement, get the book ‘21 Days To Sexual Purity’. The principles from this book have literally been used by hundreds of individuals to get out the entanglement of sexual sin.
3) Destroy All Forms of CONTACT
There are certain ways we can keep a bond with others and one of those ways is by treasuring certain gifts, pictures, letters or objects we have received from those persons. If you are trying to break a bond, you can’t be successful if you are treasuring certain gifts that help to conjure up or invoke memories of the person. Get rid of them!!!
Destroy all love letters, gifts, objects and whatever else you have received and are currently prizing in your life. In order to move on you have to destroy every single object that reminds you of the person.
4) Forgive the Person.
A soul tie cannot be broken if you are going to hold on to the things done against you. You have to forgive the person for all the hurtful, or insensitive things done to you.
Forgiveness after being hurt from a sexual relationship can be very difficult. It is not uncommon for individuals who have been through such a hurtful experience to struggle for years with bitterness and deep-seated anger.
If you are currently finding it hard to forgive and you sense that bitterness and anger are being deepened in your life, I would encourage you to get the devotional ‘21 Days to Forgiveness’. This book walks you through the healing process and shows you how to be free from the hurtful experiences of yesterday.
When we forgive, strongholds are broken in our lives. So as difficult as it might be, think about your freedom and forgive the hurts of yesterday.
5) Devour God’s Word
The Word of God cleanses us from all forms of defilement. Look at what James 1:25 declares:
“But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.”
The Word of God is referred to as the perfect law that brings freedom. The Bible is unlike any other book. As you immerse yourself in God's Word, you are literally being changed. Your mind is being renewed, your soul is being washed from all defilement, your conscience is being softened. So much good is occurring. Just take a look at Psalm 119 to see all that is happening as you immerse yourself in God's Word.
I strongly encourage you to devour the Bible. The word of God says:
“Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation”. (1 Peter 2:2)
In the same way that a newborn devours milk, we ought to devour the spiritual milk, which is God's Word. I highly recommend that you commit to the discipline of reading it through at least once per year. That will take only 3-4 chapters every day. That’s just a little under twenty minutes by most people’s abilities.
Much more could be said but I believe the essentials have been covered. I hope this blog-post has helped you to discover that freedom from all soul-ties is very possible and you can move on with the help of the Lord.
For more information check out anyone of the books in the 21 Days Series.